relationships

Rebelling Against Fickle Men

I've been living in the on-line dating world for awhile. Everything about me wants to rebel against this strange way to meet guys and maybe even find romance. But there actually doesn't seem to be too many alternatives. Generally it can be a lot fun.  I like the dating part and meeting new people.  I'm not too nervous because I don't take it too seriously.  But when I do, I seem to get myself into trouble. Why?

Fickle men.

Growing up hippy, I never learned manspeak.  So I actually thought that when a guy says:  "I need some space because of life issues"  he was saying "I need some space because of life issues."  And when he said: "It's not you. It's me."  he meant "It's not you. It's me."

I really truly did not know it meant: "Two days ago I thought I loved you, but guess not. Bye."

Fickle men.

When did it become so difficult to just say: "You are cool.  I am cool.  But the relationship probably isn't.  Let's split and discover new adventures."

Come on,  that can't be all that hard. Why don't guys just say what they mean?  Or maybe they don't know.  Hmmm...

And how can you go from 100% in to 100% out in one breath? Doesn't it take time to get over someone you have shared your body, heart and mind with?

And wouldn't you actually like to be friends with an ex-lover?  I would.

These are men I truly liked or I would not spend time with them.  Romance is cool.  But I really really adore my guy friends.

So why exactly do these splits need to be so clean? Isn't life supposed to be sort of messy?

As you can hear,  I've got way more questions than answers about this whole dating/romance/who knows thing.

Fickle life.

Living an Intentional Balanced Life is Rebellious

Americans pride  themselves on their hard work ethic often to the detriment of their health, relationships and family lives. How often do we hear, "I'm always working", or "I'm available 24/7?" I work in the commercial real estate industry and am constantly told by many of my colleagues and friends that all they do is work when they're not eating or sleeping. Is it  supposed to be a badge of honor to be a workaholic? I don't think so, in fact I see burnout to be a very serious health and wellness crisis in this country. I am troubled when I hear how an associate doesn't have time to workout, go to their kid's games or performances, or just take some good quality personal time to recharge for fear of missing that big deal.  Technology is supposed to make our lives easier, not be a tyrannical master that demands we answer every call, text, e-mail or tweet.

Recently I have read many articles by "human potential experts" that  discourage  multi tasking and constantly checking our phones and e-mail. It actually makes us much less productive.

I am reminded of an old story about two fire wood cutters who were working side by side. One chopped non stop without taking a break all day. The other, took a 15 minute break every hour. At the end of the day the guy who took the breaks had chopped three times as much  wood as his partner did, who couldn't understand how that was possible. Extremely annoyed, he asked "what do you do on all those breaks you take?" His answer......" I sharpen my axe."

This  rebel made a decision many years ago that I would do my best to live a balanced life while working in a business that often discourages that. I  meditate & pray, exercise & play regularly, eat a pretty healthy diet and spend quality fun time with my loved ones and friends.  I call this my rebellion against burnout and ill-health.  Sometimes I fall short but I  have learned where the off buttons are on my phone and computer and turn them off frequently in order to tune in to all the beauty around and within me.